Empty
by AkumaStrife
Summary: "Yo Cloud…you okay?" And Cloud honestly doesn't know, because he can't stop shaking. / AU /


He's cold.

Not physically. His skin is warm like always, as he's cocooned in two thick comforters. But his core…it's like his very being, everything inside himself, is cold. He can't stop shaking and he doesn't know why.

"Yo, Cloud," Reno whispers, his tone filled with concerned affection. "You okay?"

And Cloud doesn't know, doesn't understand how it got to this. The night had started out great. They'd told Cloud's mom that he was staying over so they could work on Mr. Sephiroth's impossible history paper, and then had headed straight for Yuffie's party. They figured they'd just hang out for a bit and then crash at Reno's place, use the rest of the weekend to actually get to that paper.

The house had been loud, crowded to the rafters with people, Yuffie scampering around in her tiny-ass shorts playing the good host. They'd taken a few shots, Reno's grin wide and goading, and downed twice as many beers with their friends. Someone pulled out the mead, and that had gone down easy. Sweet and smooth, they'd taken their share of the long pulls.

Maybe that's where the trouble began.

He'd felt warm and foggy, things a little slower and the world not so heavy on his sixteen year-old shoulders. Things were light and fluid for a while; Reno's smiles easy beside him. But things began to change, coming into sharp focus and his insides twisting. And suddenly Cloud wasn't feeling so hot –Reno told him later it was most likely the mead refusing to mix quietly with all the other alcohol in his system.

He bit his lip and tried to quell the nausea, grateful when Reno noticed and offered to sit with him on the front porch. The air was clear and cold, and Cloud could breath a little easier, not feeling the compulsion to squirm quite so much. Reno let him reflexively hold his arm and lean against him, breathing shallowly through his nose. He would've been content to just sit out there forever.

But Reno only waited so long, itching to get back in the house and join everyone. Cloud hated to be a killjoy, so he eventually nodded and tried to swallow his sickness down, letting Reno pull him to his feet. He led Cloud through the crowded house, the lack of personal space rekindling the urge to throw up on someone's shoes. Thankfully Reno tugged him _through_ all the people and out into the backyard where Rude and Zack had a bonfire going, the flames hot and reaching high.

And then, out of nowhere, his body temperature dropped. He tried to stick it out for a few minutes before he threw the last of his pride away: he was cold and felt absolutely gross, his stomach too restless for his comfort. And surprisingly Reno took one look at Cloud, trying to fold in on himself, and slipped off his jacket, draping it over Cloud's shoulders. It was warm and smelled like Reno, like cigarette smoke and axe, soothing him a little. With time, and the new source of heat, the feelings had started to pass. He didn't feel quite so sick, just tired. God, he was so tired. Eyes drooping he had stared off into nothing for far too long, and his body feeling just this side of dead. It thankfully only took a few pleading looks before Reno was willing to cut out early and head back to his house. Cloud was so damn tired and worn out, his mind still hazy, that Reno didn't say anything when Cloud fumbled his hand into Reno's; gripping tightly because it felt like Reno was his only anchor, the last thing keeping the world from spinning out from underneath him.

By the time they got back to Reno's, all was quiet, so they tried their best to avoid the squeaky spots on the stairs, Cloud barely missing the doorframe in the dark. They tugged off clothes and Reno dragging more blankets onto his bed, used to sharing with Cloud since they were small. Cloud crawled into the warm bed, sighing in contentment at the heat surrounding him and able to relax into the mattress. He'd peeled his eyes open when Reno had nudged him and offered the glass of water, remembering to take his allergy medicine, or else he'd never be able to sleep.

Maybe if he'd been thinking clearer he wouldn't have taken it. Maybe he would've played it smart and tried to stick it out. But then again, he'd always been told that the first thing alcohol impairs is your judgment.

Because –although it had started out slow, a slight tremor here and there— he now shook. Shivered with an intangible chill. He doesn't feel sick anymore, but his heart pounds and he won't admit it, but he's scared…doesn't understand what's happening to him.

"You cold?" Reno asks when he doesn't answer. And Cloud shakes his head, trying not to let it show that it bothers him, trying to be brave. But he's only sixteen.

"I-I can't stop shaking." He hates how his voice hitches, hates that it sounds like he's about to cry as he tries to work the words passed the lump in his throat.

They've been best friends forever and so it's not weird when Reno works his hand out of his own blanket and takes Cloud's firmly, expression worried as he feels how the blond boy shakes. Unable to make it stop no matter how hard he tries.

He asks again, patient and calm. "Yo, you okay?"

"I told you, I can't stop shaking," Cloud whispers back, a little peeved in his helplessness. His throat is tight and his chest constricts, and he hates seeming weak. Reno let's go of his hand and drapes his arm over Cloud's cocooned torso, tightening his grip so as to pull him close, and Cloud obliges quickly, shifting closer at Reno's silent instruction until he's curled gratefully in against the redhead. Every time the shudders roll through him Reno squeezes him for a moment; whether it be for comfort or simply letting Cloud know that he's there, he doesn't know. But whatever it is, Cloud appreciates it, thankful that the other is still awake.

He doesn't know how long they lay like that in the dark; silent and Cloud breathing warm across Reno's neck, hardly able to breath in the trapped heat. But he doesn't dare move, doesn't know if he can handle it now without him. After what seems like ages the tremors that rack his body lessen, his heart slows down and his panic eases. And then they leave him all together, suddenly gone as quick as they came. He waits, breathing deeply; tense and ready for if they come back unexpectedly like hiccups so frequently do.

But they're gone, and he practically melts with relief, his eyes suddenly heavy with exhaustion. And then, with the shaking gone, he can't help but focus on the way he can't breath. It's too hot, tucked under Reno's chin, and there's little oxygen in the overly recycled air. He doesn't want to, but he has to turn away. Has to roll over so his back is facing Reno and he breathes deeply, taking in as much cool air as he can.

The action causes Reno to draw back his arm and settle into a better position for sleep, puts that space between them again. And as embarrassed as it makes Cloud…deep down he wishes that Reno would continue to hold him.


End file.
